On Finding Love

I loved this post of a good friend who's one batch ahead of my class at UP Law. Seeing him again last week - happily married to his one true love - made me remember this post he wrote way back in 2005.

As a prelude to the dreaded V-Day, here are my friend's thoughts on finding love (in bold are the lines I love):

I have waited five years for someone who was not sure to come. All those years, I secretly wished that the gods of our destinies would again conspire to bring us together --- the way they did when she unexpectedly came into my life.

Although all signs indicated that no amount of wishing could alter our fate, I had hoped that the forces of love could overcome the odds. Hope, they say, springs eternal for someone in love. And I was madly in love. To the point of feeling a raging guilt when I engaged in another relationship --- long after I learned that she, too, had another.

I would dream of our moments together: the way she innocently taught me the ways of love. I would see her face everywhere: in exam papers, in television programs, in movie houses.

With her, I learned how to express in concrete the intangible. I learned how to cook, to write in prose, to control my temper, to say little so as to convey more. With her, I also experienced the unfairness of life: to be enchained to an ideal; to lower my defenses, only, to be vulnerable.

I have waited five long years only to realize that she wouldn’t come. For the dreams I weaved were mine alone, and the things I’ve seen weren’t there in the first place. It took me five years to realize that there was no sense in hoping.For the love I thought we shared didn’t happen at all.

When I finally put a period to this madness, my one true love finally came. She found me when I stopped searching for love.

The first time I saw her, I already knew that we were destined to be together. With her, I came to realize that love isn’t all sparks and glows. That to be vulnerable is one thing and to lose one’s self-esteem is another. That love is much a decision as it is a feeling. That it is one joyous emotion coupled with gargantuan responsibilities.

With her I learned that love is not about writing prose or learning how to cook. Love is being who you are but always finding ways to make yourself better. Love is not about weaving dreams but realizing one’s visions. Love is not about hoping but about believing. Love is not about wishing; it is standing by the choices you make, and working hard to make them come true.

With her, I finally understood that the gods of our destinies did not play tricks on me.

Wow. Perhaps all is not lost, after all.