"We're not exactly strangers, you and I..."

Last month, I had my very first experience of traveling the backpackers' way. It was a route that traversed Banaue (included a hike to Batad village en route to the Teppaya Falls) in Ifugao then Bontoc (Mt. Province) then Sagada (also in Mt. Province) then Baguio City over three (3) days. I was with my Canadian friend, Ian.

On the bus to Baguio, country music played to the entire six (6) hour ride. I couldn't shake off this 1977 song by Conway Twitty, I've Already Loved You In My Mind - from where I took the title for this post.

In a world where loves and friendships seem so ephemeral, our consolation is the thought that as pilgrims - I am tempted to say backpackers - in this life, it is the minute meaningful connections that matter. We are not really strangers, dear reader. As Robert Fulghum would say, consider this a warm hello and a fervent wish that we will meet outside of blogosphere one day.

Of Leadership and Fish Tales

I remember an old love letter I received almost seventeen (17) years ago by a now good friend who is now married to someone else. We were about to enter college separately xxx He wrote that he likened me to a fish that dwelled in a small river. According to him, in that small river, this small fish was a rare, beautiful specie that swam its waters like it owned it. He feared that the small fish, when it is released in the vast ocean, might lose its way and forget that it was once a rare, beautiful specie.

True enough, in college, I was content to be part of the herd and remained with anonymous majority. For a time, I thought my old friend was right. I really was an insignificant fish in the vast ocean. I had no qualms since the quiet life suited me – growing up alone makes one comfortable with the company we keep in the empty moments. Gone was the high school go-getter who once wanted to be in – and excel in - everything but the dance club.

But I learned that life has a funny way to teach us its lessons. Due to financial constraints, I have always been taking on part-time employment since college xxx The toll that it took on my time and energy forced me to manage my time efficiently so I can cope with my studies. On hindsight, this was pivotal in revitalizing whatever leadership potential I used to have in high school. It taught me how to best encourage the class to be well-organized, without compromising the quality of our reports and the fun in our non-academic activities xxx

After the first month in the MBA program, I knew that developing my leadership skills would be a priority. This does not mean, though, that I would jump at every leadership opportunity offered by my classes. Cultivating leadership would have to begin with the little things like moderating the class egroup and facilitating the class activities. With my age, I am pressed to set an example for my peers – as a case in point, L7, my OB group, and create a standard of excellence in an atmosphere of genuine camaraderie. Also, every interaction with my professors meant a chance to partake of their wisdom and experience. These are helping me get a great deal more out of the course than I might have otherwise.

Back to that love letter (which for some curious reason I still keep), I still believe that leadership is one of those gifts – like beauty and love - that are honed and appreciated best when we do not feign it, push it or shove it for people to accept and recognize. It develops best when we let it take its natural course. Like the small fish that will always, always rediscover its potential to lead – be it in the small river or in the vast ocean.

Batman Blues

Watched Batman: The Dark Knight with a friend. No, this is not a review of the movie. For that, I'll refer you to the post of a good friend who wrote an insightful review of TDK.

One little bother during the movie was this couple seated two or three rows behind us. The poor guy was explaining the plot to the girl - every step of the way! Wow. My friend remarked that the couple just reminded him why he dated only smart women. I genuinely hope the girl was just faking it.

As the Governator Schwarzenegger once said,"I love smart women. I have no patience for bimbos."

Alf(ie)

What's it all about, Alfie?
Is it just for the moment we live?
What's it all about when you sort it out, Alfie?
Are we meant to take more than we give
or are we meant to be kind?
And if only fools are kind, Alfie,
then I guess it's wise to be cruel.
And if life belongs only to the strong, Alfie,
what will you lend on an old golden rule?
As sure as I believe there's a heaven above, Alfie,
I know there's something much more,
something even non-believers can believe in.
I believe in love, Alfie.
Without true love we just exist, Alfie.
Until you find the love you've missed you're nothing, Alfie.
When you walk let your heart lead the way
and you'll find love any day, Alfie, Alfie

- Burt Bacharach (1966)

A good friend arrived from China last week and flew back again today. He looks well and even found himself a girl (an old family friend, he claims).

Thank you, dear friend - for lifting the weight of the world off my shoulders - even if only for a few days and for reminding me again that God, in His Infinite Wisdom, has a plan. Take good care of yourself. As one site would tell folks who unsubscribe to its service, many happy trails to you until we find each other again. I will miss you everyday.

On Finding Love

I loved this post of a good friend who's one batch ahead of my class at UP Law. Seeing him again last week - happily married to his one true love - made me remember this post he wrote way back in 2005.

As a prelude to the dreaded V-Day, here are my friend's thoughts on finding love (in bold are the lines I love):

I have waited five years for someone who was not sure to come. All those years, I secretly wished that the gods of our destinies would again conspire to bring us together --- the way they did when she unexpectedly came into my life.

Although all signs indicated that no amount of wishing could alter our fate, I had hoped that the forces of love could overcome the odds. Hope, they say, springs eternal for someone in love. And I was madly in love. To the point of feeling a raging guilt when I engaged in another relationship --- long after I learned that she, too, had another.

I would dream of our moments together: the way she innocently taught me the ways of love. I would see her face everywhere: in exam papers, in television programs, in movie houses.

With her, I learned how to express in concrete the intangible. I learned how to cook, to write in prose, to control my temper, to say little so as to convey more. With her, I also experienced the unfairness of life: to be enchained to an ideal; to lower my defenses, only, to be vulnerable.

I have waited five long years only to realize that she wouldn’t come. For the dreams I weaved were mine alone, and the things I’ve seen weren’t there in the first place. It took me five years to realize that there was no sense in hoping.For the love I thought we shared didn’t happen at all.

When I finally put a period to this madness, my one true love finally came. She found me when I stopped searching for love.

The first time I saw her, I already knew that we were destined to be together. With her, I came to realize that love isn’t all sparks and glows. That to be vulnerable is one thing and to lose one’s self-esteem is another. That love is much a decision as it is a feeling. That it is one joyous emotion coupled with gargantuan responsibilities.

With her I learned that love is not about writing prose or learning how to cook. Love is being who you are but always finding ways to make yourself better. Love is not about weaving dreams but realizing one’s visions. Love is not about hoping but about believing. Love is not about wishing; it is standing by the choices you make, and working hard to make them come true.

With her, I finally understood that the gods of our destinies did not play tricks on me.

Wow. Perhaps all is not lost, after all.